On Gratitude for God's Blessings - By Bobby Sagra

"Another exercise that I practice is to try for a full inventory of my blessings and then for a right acceptance of the many gifts that are mine -- both temporal and spiritual. . . I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know." The above lines were written by Bill W. in his letter dated March 1962 which was published in the book, The Language of the Heart p. 271 c.AAGrapevine
Today, I celebrate with my wife Marilene our 10th month anniversary of marriage. Since we are still physically apart at the moment we simply scheduled an internet chat to be able to spend time with each other. I sent her a loving greeting and a God Tube song by Steven Curtis Chapman, Cinderella and she is sent me a creative web card. I am very grateful for the gift of my wife in my life today and I am very happy to receive her as a beautiful gift from God. In the Rite of Marriage on Nuptial Blessing #3 the following are said, "Holy Father, creator of the universe, maker of man and woman in your own likeness, source of blessing for married life, we humbly pray to you for this woman who today is united with her husband in this sacrament of marriage. May your fullest blessing come upon her and her husband so that they may together rejoice in your gift of married love. Lord, may they both praise you when they are happy and turn to you in their sorrows. May they be glad that you help them in their work and know that you are with them in their need. May they pray to you in the community of the Church, and be your witnesses in the world. May they reach old age in the company of their friends, and come at last to the kingdom of heaven. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen" At the moment it is a quiet Autumn morning here in McCloud, CA USA. I hear the sounds of cars passing by the highway next to the apartment where I am staying. The trees next to my window are starting to sway their branches as being tossed gently by the cold wind. Their leaves are getting yellowish and in time will fall. In my heart, I feel joy and I want to sing a song of thanks to God for creating me and my wife Marilene in His own likeness, now as man and woman in married love and life, according to His greater purpose, glory and honor. For me, this moment is a season of thanksgiving, of faith and of hope in the loving God who provides for our daily needs. What a great gift God has given me in the person of my wife. I respect and honor her as a complete and full transformation of being a woman, a wife, a mother and a soul mate. I thank God for the wonder of her beauty, for the joy of her songs, for the heroism of her sacrifices and for her loyalty and dedication to her work. I thank God for the gift of healing and spiritual progress through the years, for the gifts of good friends and for the gift of family. I thank God for the work I do and for being of maximum service to Him and my fellows. I thank God for the gift of silence in the morning hours, where I can sit, study, pray and meditate. And for many more wonderful blessings in my life today and in the life of my wife, I thank God from the very depths of my heart and soul. Times are tough and the road of life of difficult today with the world economic situation, but it is not a reason not to pause for a while and count our blessings. What is important is not to feel dissatisfied for what we cannot have, but simply be contented and be happy for what we have. After all, in life the best of things come in freely like the serenity of the quiet morning, the smile from a little child, the warmth from a loving dog and the assurance of a lifelong companion in a married life.

48th Birthday Celebration

Early this morning I called up my wife Marilene and she sang a birthday song and some other love songs for me. I went to work and my colleagues including the owner of the company greeted me Happy Birthday. When I came home I spent time viewing the greetings that family and friends sent me. I just finished having a long internet chat with my wife and I am so glad that she is there for me on this special day. Last year I can still recall that I celebrated my birthday in my hometown of Cabatuan, Iloilo, Philippines. I was still wearing a monk's cowl then and I was still in the ministerial priesthood. I celebrated Mass at the church with family, former teachers, classmates, relatives and friends. Then, a party was given at Huesca St. Then a month later I expressed my decision to leave priesthood and get married. The marriage took place in Manila last December 8,2007 and our wedding pictures got published in http://www.cabatuan.com/ Just recently my wife Marilene went home to Cabatuan for the Fiesta celebration last September 10,2008. She was very glad to make that trip and have a break from her busy office schedule in Manila. She stayed in my room in Huesca St. during her stay and she visited and came to know my family, relatives and friends there. As I celebrate my birthday today, I cannot help but pause for a moment and take a good look at my life, this gift of life that God has given me. All I could sum up saying is that God is love. Everything that had happened in my life, since I was born into this world is an expression of the love of God. St. Ignatius of Loyola in the First Week of the Spiritual Exercises highly wrote of the necessity to have this conviction and assurance of being loved by God unconditionally. In my growing up years and adult life I experienced the love of God in all aspects, especially in those very trying moments of powerlessness over areas of unmanageability and lostness of self wherein I found myself stucked in the morass of self pity, guilt, fear and anger. In the cry of Jesus on the cross, " My God, my God, why have you forsakened me? " I have found the meaning and purpose of all my pains and sufferings in life. The blessed Pope John Paul II wrote that in that very moment Jesus was expressing both the human and divine cry of anguish. In the human side, Jesus identified with the very totality of the pains of humanity and cried the same cry and asked the same question, " Why? " His human cry was also my very own at very significant and deep painful situations of my life, which is an experience of hopelessness and wasteland of abandonment. On the other hand, the divine cry for help is a sigh of surrender, of acceptance of pain as the touchstone of spiritual transformation, of the courage to let go and let God and of the willingness to die in order to live. Today as I celebrate my birthday, I am very aware and conscious that as I totally surrender to God in the divine order of things, I have chosen to die to my old self which is tired, exhausted and disgruntled and I have made a conscious and responsible decision to live my new life of freedom from the bondage of self, of victory over my human weaknesses and imperfections and of joy for having found my true vocation in life, to live as an ordinary and simple man, loving and caring for my wife and our family and fostering our spiritual growth together as husband and wife. Today I am spiritually awakened that the best way to celebrate one's gift of life is to go inside my own self and find my reason for living. In the book, Beginning to Pray, Archbishop Anthony Bloom, the author, was interviewed by Timothy Wilson. At one point Timothy Wilson asked him, " Your father sounds to have been an extraordinary man. Can you remember very much about him? " To this question, came his touching and thought provoking reply, " I remember a certain number of his phrases. In fact there are two things he said which impressed me and have stayed with me all my life. One is about life. I remember he said to me after a holiday, ' I worried about you ' and I said, ' Did you think I'd had an accident? ' He said, " That would have meant nothing, even if you had been killed. I thought you had lost your integrity. ' Then on another occasion he said to me, ' Always remember that whether you are alive or dead matters nothing. What matters is what you live for and what you are prepared to die for.' These things were the background of my early education and show the sense of life that I got from him. " Today as I think seriously about my life I can well say that when I got married to Marilene T. Lusaya last year I had my date with destiny in the face of a tired, exhausted and distraught world where men continue to fight and hate each other even in the name of religion, where most political leaders continue to be corrupt and religious institutions continue to lose their grip of being the conscience of the human condition of misery, injustice, sickness and death. Indeed, when I got out of priesthood and got married I simultaneously declared my freedom to seek the God of my own understanding and experience and know that still I am loved, blessed and provided with the grace and strength to move on and discover untapped vistas of my spiritual search for my true meaning and purpose in life. I have found my wife Marilene to be the very reason for me to live my life to the fullest, in joy and serenity with her as we trudge the road of life hand in hand and hearts forged into one towards the stars of our greater destiny as a couple God designed and meant us to be. To end, let me quote a classic Latin verse, " Omnia Vincit Amor " which means " Love conquers all ". I also thought of this today and for me when there is true love and devotion there is no difficulty that cannot be surpassed, there is no conflict that cannot be resolved, there is no dream that cannot be realized, there is no doubt that cannot be relinquished and there is no happiness that cannot be fulfilled. On my birthday today, I have found out and deeply felt that life is a celebration not just on the day of one's birth but that in each moment of each day life in all its wonder, beauty, grandeur, drama and giftedness can be truly relished, tasted and enjoyed together especially in married life.

Spiritual Responsibility in Marriage, Marriage Message 7

"Successful marriage is always a triangle: a man, a woman, and God" (Cecil Myers). Think about it -- is your marriage "successful"? Is God the important leader in your marital relationship? Even if your spouse isn't walking in spiritual obedience, have YOU invited God to be a leader in your relationship, even if He is the silent partner until your spouse spiritually wakes up? Think about it. This week we're focusing on the subject of spiritual responsibility in marriage. I (Steve) will address the husbands and Cindy will address the wives. So first off: HUSBANDS: Spiritually bathe your wives. I've been told many times that a HUGE concern expressed by women is that their husbands are contributing little, if anything, to the spiritual health of their marriage. They say things like, "He's a great husband but he doesn't give me what I need spiritually." There are two things I've come to understand about this subject (through my own struggles in this area): (1) One of the hardest things for husbands to remember when it comes to our bride is to do what Christ showed us by His example: "to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing of the water from the word" (Ephesians 5:26). For some reason many of us husbands neglect doing this. But each day is a new beginning so today could be good day to start. It's better late than never! (2) As we follow Christ's example and lovingly pray for our bride and wash her in the word of God, we strengthen our marital intimacy and bond more than almost anything else we can do for her. To wash our wives in the Word doesn't mean preaching to her. That can make her feel like a child if she doesn't appreciate this. But it's communicating the gospel with and without words. Even if your wife is hostile to your sharing the word of God with her, you can still pray a blessing silently over her and ask God to show you how to bond you closer together. For those of you who do have a wife who would enjoy this spiritual connection, we'd like to share with you some insights that Eddie recently wrote in one of the comment sections of the Marriage Missions web site (at www.marriagemissions.com). He wrote: "Probably the single most important thing that my wife of twenty-eight years and I have learned, is to pray for each other out loud every day. I am supposed to be her covering. I wouldn't want my wife going out into the world unclothed for every man to look at. If I don't cover her each and every day then spiritually, I'm sending her out exposed for the enemy to see. We pray out loud so that we can hear with our ears and get it into our minds that we are loved and cared for. Also, we know that the enemy doesn't know everything like our Father does, so we pray out loud so that he can hear. We do this even when we're angry with each other. It's amazing how hard it is to stay angry with someone when you hear them praying just for you and even harder to stay angry with someone while you're praying God's blessings on them for the day." That's great advice, isn't it? The following are some additional tips that you might find helpful as well in uniting you and your wife closertogether: 1. Find a devotional (maybe on marriage) that you can read together every night before you turn out the lights. A great one we recommend is "Devotions for a Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. (We give a review of this devotional as well as others on the Marriage Missions web site). 2. Read scripture together. You can do this even a few verses or chapters at a time, and then share insights that come to mind. 3. When God teaches you or you learn something from His Word, be sure to share that with your wife. It may bless and enrich her life as well. 4. Ask your wife how you can be praying for her throughout the day while you're apart. 5. Start the day by praying together (and/or end the day this way -- whichever works out best). This has greatly enriched my marriage with my wife. I believe it will help yours as well. As we take spiritual responsibility in our marriages, we may find that other problem areas will begin to resolve themselves as well. And men: love your wife enough to resist the temptation to chastise your wife if she isn't doing what Cindy will share next. WIVES: You are not your husband's Holy Spirit. Yes, you are his partner and you may need to "speak the truth in love" to him at times. But sometimes we do too much horizontal talking and not enough vertical talking to the Lord over matters that bother us about our husbands. Sometimes our words can get in the way of what God intends to do if they are said when our husband's ears are not receptive to hearing what we have to say. It has taken me a lot of years of anguish to finally listen to the Lord over this matter. I've come to realize that it's not our responsibility as wives, to shame or accuse our husbands of not being spiritual enough (if we perceive they are lacking). We ARE told in the Bible in Galatians 6:1-5, "If someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load." What I see from those scriptures is that we are to be GENTLE if we are to "restore him." But we're also warned to watch ourselves because we could be tempted to do what we shouldn't (like saying more than we should, or saying it in the wrong manner or timing, or pointing out the "speck" in his eye when we have a "log" in our own eye). We should be careful of our own spiritual walk so we aren't hypocritical in our interactions. "Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like" (James 1:22-24). Don't allow the problems you see in your husband to distract you from living Christ. If you feel you have to nag or berate your husband to get him to "wake up" spiritually, beware! You're stepping into Holy Spirit territory. Be your husband's prayer partner and ask the Lord to show you how to love him as "unto the Lord." Know when to say something and when to be quiet. God will lead you as you draw close to Him and ask and receive. We pray that each of you will be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in carrying out your spiritual responsibilities. "If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and power for ever and ever. Amen" (1 Peter 4:11). Blessings,Steve and Cindy Wright P.S. If you think of others who may benefit from these weekly messages, please forward this to them and encourage them to subscribe to this FREE ministry. To subscribe, visit www.christianchallengeandblessing.com

The coming home of my wife Marilene to the Sagra Family

Today, the 7th of September my wife Marilene went to Janiuay, Iloilo, Philippines to visit my mother, Mrs. Lilia Parian Sagra and my brother, Dr. Calixto P. Sagra, MD and another brother, Carmelo P. Sagra and my uncle, Fr. Felipe A. Parian Jr. in our family home. It was a very warm, happy and loving get together as seen in the pictures my wife posted in our Friendster account: Bomarl1208. This is the very first time that my wife visited my family of origin since we were married and we thank God she has done it with grace, beauty and joy! Now we move on and keep waiting for the day when she will be getting her U.S. Visa to come and join me here in McCloud, California, USA.

Prayer of Surrender

Third Step Prayer

God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better doThy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy
will always!

Personal Comment: What can I offer to you today my God? Here I am, I offer you my whole being, my mind, my soul and all that I am. You are God and I am only a human being created and fashioned by You in my mother's sanctuary of love. In my humanness you share with me your Godliness by the gift of breath that you bestowed and makes me alive today. Here I am my God, use me as Thou wilt, for I am only a vessel, an instrument of your Hands and Feet. Sometimes my selfish nature overwhelms me, so I humbly ask you to relieve me of the weight of my selfishness. My desire and joy today is to please you like a wife wanting to please her husband. In my going out of self with your grace I am willing to live this life in radiating only your love and your kindness to others. My only concern is to focus only on doing your will today and always. Amen

A SONG FOR MARL - By Bobby Sagra

I sing this song for you my love
a song which is a deep echo
from the sacred mountain
where the gods sang for ages
this melody of love eternal
which is bequethed to all times
and fitting for all seasons
a gentle soothing song for all
a love song of never ending joy!
Each day a white cloud appears
over Mt. Shasta of California
I paused as I walked by and asked
a mountain sage why this is so.
I am told once in ages past
there was a beautiful lady
most lovely of all ladies here
who fell in love with man
who lives up in Mt. Shasta.
Her parents were against
her going forth to the mountain
to meet with her beloved.
But against their will
because of her great love
for the man of her whole life
for the man of her soul
she went forth one snowy morning
she walked through in the cold
she obeyed only love's stirrings
just to see her beloved one
up hidden over the lovely peak
of Mt. Shasta of California.
Unskilled in snow cruising
she vanished and never was found
like a wisp of cloud she was gone
like a snowflake she settled upon
and disappeared like a dream
among the trees and holy soil
of Mt. Shasta of California.
Few days later down the slope
of the beautiful lovely mountain
of Mt. Shasta of California,
a lake was formed in all wonder
and the people of the town
in lasting memory of the love
born and lived forever in the heart
of their dearly beloved daughter
named the lake, "Shastina"
after her name and pure love.
Until now whenever they see
the hovering soft white cloud
over Mt. Shasta of California
they whisper, "there she is again!"
visiting her beloved one
and vanishing for her repose
in a peaceful lake down below
most lovingly named after her.
What an awesome and intense love!
It's still a song in the wind's echoing,
an eternal everlasting song
the love of the most beautiful Shastina
for the man of all her heart's desire
up in Mt. Shasta of California.
As I come over here my sweet love,
I feel your love in the song
sang over and over again
my poets and singers old and new
A song of love you sing in your heart
for me your most beloved one,
my Marl, my darling, my hun!
May 01, 2008 in Poetry Permalink Comments (0)

THE KEY TO THE HEART - By Bobby Sagra

"The door to the human heart can be opened only from the inside." - taken from Apples of Gold

While browsing over my hotmail account I again passed by the update of the Database for high school reunions. Right there in the category of related interest I again saw the name of my beloved Marilene. It was there that I started posting some e-mails to reconnect with high school friends of the Cabatuan National Comprehensive High School that I met Marl sometime three years ago. We started communicating by e-mails. I was then a Benedictine Monk and I have an office where I am provided with a computer for my use. I became a part of Marl's life and she became a part of mine. In the beginning she will open up private matters of her life, her family and her work asking for some friendly support, especially during those times when she has some difficulties caused by the various pressures of her life. Being adept in matters concerning helping those who are trying to find meaning and direction in their lives, I will write back and give my guidance and encouragement for her. Things progressed from there joyfully for us. We exchange set of pictures, lots of hellos and hi's in a friendly casual manner. Then, one day, while we were having our usual chat conversation I honestly expressed my love for her and she responded gladly with love too. One of the most beautiful moments of that cyber love connection was when Marl sent a cd of her songs with her pictures on my birthday. I was so thrilled and happy to receive such a token of deep and sincere love from her. Then came a period when I decided to refrain from communicating with her to focus more on my life and work as a monk and to listen some more to my feelings of love for her. In the book, Fire in the Belly on the masculine psychology it is written that, "when a man truly loves a woman, he has to say goodbye to her." I did exactly just that and I found out that in that space, in that silence, in that hollow and uncertain moment in time,...that I truly love her and I want her to be a very significant part of my life in this world. To make my presence felt again in Marl's life I sent her a package gift for her birthday which she received just before Valentines Day. From then on, we started communicating again on a regular basis by giving updates and concern for each other. I was scheduled to go to Ghana, Africa last year for a new mission assignment when I heard the news that my mother got sick and I needed to go home to help in taking care of her. I went home last August, 2007 and I called up Marl as soon as I arrived home in Cabatuan, Iloilo. I asked her if she can come home for the town fiesta on September 10,2007 which she did. She said she will go home so we can meet and see each other. I met Marl for the first time ever since we communicated via internet at the new Iloilo Airport last September 8,2007. It was a very beautiful and memorable meeting. We both gave our gifts and there was heartfelt reluctance because I was still wearing my monk's robe. She brought her two year old grandson, Kiel who became our love's cupid during those four days of our tryst in Cabatuan, Iloilo. Marl went back to Manila after the town fiesta to continue her work at UMC Manila. We exchanged text messages every day. On September 30,2007 I went to Manila and joined the birthday party of Isah, Marl's daughter. I brought as my gift and "pasalubong" the famous "Tinuom" dish of chicken cooked in banana leaf from Cabatuan to the delight of everybody in the family including her son, Gabo who is finishing Mass Communication in Perpetual University of Las Pinas City. On October 22,2007 I solemnized the marriage of Jay and Bel Alere in Cavite. During the moment when as a celebrant I asked for prayer in silence for our personal needs, Marl who was there in the crowd whispered a prayer to God to have me as her husband. It is very true that God answers prayers. The very next day I decided to leave the priesthood and monkhood and proposed to marry Marl. In that mysterious yet deeply profound twists and turns of events, God's love and design for my life and that of Marl merged like a beautiful completion of a jigzaw puzzle. We both decided to get married on December 8,2007 in the Dreem Haus restaurant along Taft Avenue, Manila. Our wedding was a joyful and successful testimony of our love for each other. Guests included family members, friends and co-workers and everybody went home stomach filled, contented and mesmerized. I stayed for a while with Marl doing some fixing of the house and accompanying her to work everyday. I was with her and her kids and grandson for Christmas. We both celebrated her birthday at home with her brother Ed Lusaya as our special guest last January 24,2008. We dated on Valentines Day by Manila Bay area. Then I left Manila on February 17,2008 to go back here in the U.S. to continue my work as God's servant and minister in a new community called the University of Mechizedek, an online Ascenscion School and Retreat Center located in Glorieta, New Mexico. I continued my daily contact with Marl through the internet chat medium. Our spiritual group has decided to relocate to Mt. Shasta, California on April 21,2008. I hope to get a better income earning job there and petition Marl to come and join me here. Once again I am into a new adventure of faith and life. This time I am not alone responding to God's greater calling to holiness and love because Marl is one and united with me as my wife. I look forward to reach Mt. Shasta and be worthy to stay in that sacred mountain of God with Marl soon to come. The psalmist in questioning who shall climb the mountain of the Lord wrote the response, "he whose heart is pure..." Lord, my heart is pure and I am ready to go. Watch and care for my beloved hun Marl while I am on my journey to your holy mountain. Bless our love and devotion to each other as husband and wife. You are truly love oh Lord and you have given us the key of love which opened our hearts from the inside. We praise and we thank you for creating us for each other to love, to cherish and to be happy together in this life and in the next. Bless our love and married life as we journey along and serve you and and your people. Amen.