The Miracle of Goldfinches - By Ruth Fischel

It was the second winter after my son, Bob, died.I was still measuring time by his death. First it wasfour days and then five, then it was a month and thentwo. Now, it was hard to believe that more than a yearhad passed.I was definitely getting better. Everything I didand thought during that first winter had somerelationship to Bob's death. In this, the second winter,I was able to broaden my life and return to my workon a somewhat regular basis again. On most days nowI could put in quite a few hours, as compared to thefirst winter after he died, when I could barely workat all.When I say that I didn't work, I mean that I didn'twork on anything that could pay the rent or put foodon the table. I am a writer and I couldn't write anythingthat could be published. But during that first winterdid I write and write and write. I wrote from such adeep place inside of me, so deep that I did not evenknow from where the pain or the words that describedthe pain were coming to me. Words were right there,flying from my finger tips. That writing was undisciplinedand disorganized, more of a purging that was necessaryfor my healing. While I knew much of it could be usedsome day to help people. I knew it had to wait.Being a self-employed author has some advantages.One was that I couldn't be fired from my job. Andsecondly I could take all the time I needed to heal fromthis terrible tragedy. The other side of the coin wasthat I wasn't paid when I didn't produce; and thatmade for a very difficult burden financially.During this second winter I had the gift of workingin a beautiful new office in my home. I installed twobird feeders, one hanging from a high branch outsideFrench doors, which could be seen from everywherebut my desk. The other feeder was plastic and hadsuction cups to keep it stuck to the window just a fewfeet forward and to the right of my computer.During this second winter, I developed a fascinationfor all the birds that came to visit my feeders, but Ifound the goldfinches especially fascinating. I spenthours watching them as they changed their colors overthe seasons. I had never seen anything like thisphenomena before. These observations became likemeditation for me, a deep concentration that blockedout all other thoughts. I would watch in awe, transfixedas these magnificent creatures paraded their shadingsbefore me, showing off one of God's masterpieces.At the end of the Summer, the goldfinches hadbeen a bright yellow, the only way that I had everknown goldfinches. But as Fall came they began toactually change. One day they were yellow andsuddenly, or so it appeared to me, the very next daysome were muddy and gray looking. Others weremuddy and greenish. Some were tan. They were allin the process of losing their bright color andbecoming less and less yellow. They continued to feedall that winter and I looked forward to their everydayvisits, shooing the bluebirds and the crows away fromthe other feeder that hung from the tree. I evenspent $10.95 for a shield so the squirrels couldn'treach the feeder on the tree and eat their food.I have learned that the change in their feathers isnature's way of protecting Goldfinches during the winter.When the leaves fall from the trees all birds lose theirhiding places. Now they had to sit out on bare branches,becoming very visible. If they remained bright yellow,they would be easy prey for larger birds. Their new,muted colors help them to blend in more with thebranches, tree trunks and ground cover.Gradually I became accustomed to the more quietlycolored beautiful creatures in their new winter attire.And just as suddenly as their feathers had changed infall, one day in March, a speck of yellow re-appeared.I hadn't expected it, although, if I had thought aboutit, I would have realized this would eventually happen.But, the yellow was returning in the strangest ofpatterns; some in squares and patches, others blendingand soft as if an artist had taken a paint brush andmade majestically beautiful strokes at random.We can call this miracle genetic memory or aninner computer, Mother Nature or a number ofother scientific terms. But it was nothing less thanan awesome miracle to me! The birds did not haveto do anything to make it happen other than to justbe birds. They merely needed to have enough foodand sleep and warmth, and follow their natural instincts.They simply did their bird thing and the rest followedquite naturally.As I continued to watch their daily visits, thisincredible miracle expanded as they continued theprocess of changing back to brilliant yellow again.During the process, some remained a bit muddylooking, some still more greenish gray or grayishgreen, some with more yellow than others. Theircolor returned in patches, all at different timesand in different places. Each goldfinch receivedthe gift of magnificent new spring clothes in theirown time, and in time for the mating season to begin.And here I was, working again fully into the joy ofmy writing, discovering more and more gifts everydaythat reconnected me to God and to the universe.How could I not possibly believe that if God couldmake these wonderful miracles, the Goldfinches,why not for me, in my shady and murky grayish- greenbrown tan, sometimes even black pain, returning meto the full and brilliant color of the sunshine again?How could I possibly not believe that I, too, couldand would return to the joy of living, in whatever wayor shape God programmed me.How could I possibly not believe that we are allpart of a higher plan, a greater purpose, and thatthis knowledge comes to us when we are ready, witheach passing season.All we have to do was be the best people we can be,get plenty of food and rest, and do God's work. Timeand nature would tell us when we were ready foranything more or less. We simply have to do our peoplething and the rest would follow quite naturally.4/5/95© Ruth Fishelwww.spirithaven.com

Easter Day at World Mother Sanctuary - By Bobby Sagra

It was my first Easter celebration
here in World Mother Sanctuary.
I woke up early to make fire in the chapel
to warm us up for the Easter Morning meditation.
In that quiet and silence of welcoming The Light
of the Risen Christ, our Director of the Sanctuary
Crystal aka Patricia Jepsen uttered a message
she directly received from God.
She said, "I AM IN COMMAND OF THINGS IN CHRIST"
which helped me a lot in my awakening
of this new life that we all have in Christ.
Copper is our Easter icon of new life too!
He went around blessing each one and saying,
"Here I am, see I am alive, strong and full of life!"
Then we ate our Easter Breakfast
of scones which I helped in the making,
scrambled eggs, fresh melons and good coffee.
I said the prayer of blessing in gratitude to God
for the call to community, which is the call to love
each other in Christ and be His I Am for the world.
I washed the dishes after that and hurried back online
to spend quality Easter Time with my beloved wife Marl.
I spent most of my afternoon having my online meeting
having another fellowship of the Spirit with friends
from all over the world in cyberspace of sharing
and caring, helping each other and celebrating life.
In the evening one of us made a good veggie salad
which we ate while watching the politics news from CNN.
After I excused myself from my wife in our usual chat
I got invited to watch the movie Converstions with God
till the evening hours passed and the night is back in peace.
The movie was so touching and I cried in awesome reverence
knowing God is still very much with us and still speaking
to us about the purpose of things in our lives.
Just before I slept I gave update to my wife again
and then went to pray my zen meditation for another half hour
and went to bed and dreamed of beautiful life and vision
of wonderful togetherness and marriage with my wife
in my community of kindred souls in God's lovely world.


http://www.melchizedeklearning.com/

On Easter Morning Now - By Bobby Sagra

On Easter Morning
Someone of our kin
Who pitched His tent
in our world as one of us
and who took away
our sins upon the Cross
and by His wounds
we were all healed,
rose as the Dawn
of life, of victory
and became the beacon
of our new life!
On Easter Morning Now
as we rise from slumber
and with faith,
we face the dawn
of our lives...
The story of Jesus
Risen from the death
can also be
our own story!
The saga of human life
full of ups and downs
in the drama and epic
of tears and joys,
of fullness and emptiness,
of pain and relief,
of victory and defeat,
of wars within and without,
is a never ending story
in each and every fiber
of our being as earthlings.
But this great breakthrough
of Him who is forever Love
and Serenity in the midst
of His earthly life, until
He conquered death,
which epitomizes all
our fears and woes,
is a living Hope
for each one of us
to live Easter Now
and Always...
also making our breakthrough
amidst all our fears and sorrows
and being alive
in the beautiful
awakening...
of our Easter Morning Now!
March 23, 2008 Permalink Comments (0)

The Flame of Christian Love in the Community - Bobby Sagra

My Experience of Community
-An Article Written by Bobby Sagra (Spiritual Name: Benedict Sagra)
for the Newsletter of World Mother Sanctuary

P.O. Box 1060

Mt. Shasta, CA 96067

U.S.A.

In my many years of experience living in community I have come to understand that it is really love that builds community. It was at the Last Supper that Jesus gave the new commandment to his beloved apostles, “love one another as I love you” (John 15:12). Love is the flame coming forth from the hearth when each member of the community loses oneself in sharing individual gifts and talents to fulfill the vision of the community in Christ just like the pieces of wood stacked together to generate flame. My experience of community made me understood and lived the seven qualities of the love of Jesus which a newly born community can live together. The first is that Jesus loves everyone. He has a special kindness, respect, tolerance and acceptance of everybody, especially the poor and the marginalized. The second is that Jesus always made the first step to love. When he first called his disciples along the sea of Galilee, he was the one who said the first word, “Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.” (Mark 1:17) It was a word spoken with great love in his heart for each of them. When I am called to a community, it is a must for me to also hear this first word of Jesus, “I love you and I am calling you to leave behind everything, deny yourself, take up your cross and then come and follow after me…” (cf. Luke 14:27) All I need to do is to say in the words of the prophet Isaiah, “Here I am,…send me!”(Isaiah 6:8) The third quality of the love of Jesus is that He becomes one with those whom He loves. To the children He became a little child. To the teachers of the law He became a teacher like them. To the poor and the sick He showed acceptance, empathy and compassion. Entering a community with love in my heart I am ready to loose my own comfort zone and radically unite my feelings, my ideas and my very own life with those whom God has called me to be with. Yesterday, here in the World Mother Sanctuary I sat and rejoiced with Ann as she shared that she has called her husband Steve and they have a very good conversation. To love in this way means for me “to weep with those who weep and to rejoice with those who rejoice”. Chiara Lubich, the Foundress of the the Focolare Movement, a Catholic spiritual community for Unity wrote once, “Nothing is so small when it is done out of love.” The fourth very interesting aspect of the love of Jesus is that of mutual love. There is a saying, “love begets love” and Jesus precisely keeps on loving despite many obstacles and challenges there are in the art of loving in order to win an atmosphere of love wherever He is. He puts in love where there is no love as He did with the Samaritan woman He met on Jacob’s well one very hot noonday moment of his life’s journey on earth. The love that he gave to that woman became a wellspring of hope for her to begin her new life of discipleship in Christ. The fifth great luster in the way Jesus loves is that He said, “love your enemies…”(Matthew 5:44) Loving one’s enemies is the Christ revolution for all ages. In a world tinged with so much violence and hatred, this very dictum of Christ offers a healing option to bring about peace, harmony and justice for all. Living in a community at times I experienced that I am my most fierce enemy as my selfishness, jealousy and anger test me and block my wholehearted and free capacity to love. So in this case, I pause and I listen and be gentle to regenerate the love of Christ for me so I can love myself as I really am and be able also to love others in their own negativities, idiosyncrasy and uniqueness. The sixth golden quality of the love of Christ is that He loves without measure, expecting nothing in return. His kind of love is selfless and pure. All he wants is the good and joy of those around him. St. Bernard of Clairvaux, who founded the monastic group called the Cistercians, wrote that for him as a follower of Christ, “to love is to love without measure”. In my own life living in many different communities like the Mission Society of the Philippines, the Focolare Movement School of Spirituality in Florence, Italy, with the Benedictine Monks in Pecos, New Mexico, I experienced the personal love of Christ for me through those persons I have lived with as one of unconditional love. I felt accepted, treasured, valued and supported in my own woundedness and giftedness as a child of God. Now as Christ my Lord led my steps to the World Mother Sanctuary the more I experience this being loved by Christ through Crystal, Ann, Betsy and Susan unconditionally, just as I am. In my way of expressing my love for others especially my wife Marl, I also say, “I love you just the way you are!” Finally, the seventh characteristic of the love of Jesus is that in loving He offered Himself up on the cross for all of us. He became true to His very own words, “No greater love man has than to lay down his life for his friends.”(John 15:13) Again in my experience living with a community, this is the very pact of love that I declare, to love with the very standard of the love of Christ, to offer myself and my life for others in the community. It is this very aspect of dying to self, dying to my own worldly attachments, dying to my own concepts and ideas and living only the new life and vision of the whole in my community that validates my true membership in the community. I experienced living in the Zen Buddhist community in Marikina City, Philippines for few months and in the Buddhist understanding of community or “sangha”, a community is a place of refuge. One of the Buddhist chants says, “I seek refuge in the sangha.” As I join the community here in the World Mother Sanctuary, I consider it as my new christian “sangha”, my place of refuge and Mary, our Mother is the one I find solace and comfort as she expressed her presence daily through my companions here. One of the Latin titles of Mary is “refugium peccatorum” or refuge of sinners. I honestly and sincerely identify myself with that spectrum of affiliation to Mary. In the world beset and contaminated my all forms of ungodliness and impurity I seek refuge in the heart of Mary, our Mother here and there I find the love, strength and comfort my soul is longing and thirsting. Here in the World Mother Sanctuary I experienced the cessation of all forms of worry, fear and anxiety for what may come about. All I know and feel is the peace and assurance that now that I belong to a community here, God will supply everything I need in alliance with the mystical parlance of a catholic saint which echoes, “all will be well”. In conclusion as I write this I commit myself to love only according to the very qualities and measure of the love of Christ. I invite Jesus now to come and find a loving welcome in my consciousness so I will be totally transformed in His very own mind, so I can love deeply and humbly in my heart. Yes, there is no other way today for me, love is the only way, that is, to love everyone with the very love of Christ.