Good Relationship in Marriage

” A good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move in the same pattern, intricate but gay and swift and free, like a country dance. The joy of such a pattern is not only the joy of creation or the joy of participation, it is also the joy of living the moment.
But how does one learn this technique of the dance? Why is it so difficult? What makes us hesitate and stumble? It is fear, I think, that makes us cling nostalgically to the last moment or clutch greedily toward the next. But when the heart is flooded with love there is no room in it for fear, for doubt, for hesitation. And it is this lack of fear that makes for the dance. When each partner loves so completely that he has forgotten to ask himself whether or not he is loved in return; when he only knows that he loves and is moving to its music - then, and then only, are two people able to dance perfectly in tune to the same rhythm.
But should they not also be in tune with a larger rhythm, a natural swinging of the pendulum between sharing and solitude; the intimate and the abstract, the near and the far? And in this image of the pendulum swinging between opposite poles, is there not a clue to the problem of relationships as a whole? Is there not here a hint in understanding and acceptance of the eternal ebb and flow and inevitable intermittency of life’s relationships?
For the life of our emotions and our relationships is intermittent. When you love someone you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet it is exactly what most of us demand. We have little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.
Intermittency - an impossible lesson for human beings to learn. How can one learn to live through the ebb tides of one’s existence? It is easier to understand here on the beach, where the breathlessly still ebb tides reveal another life below the level which mortals usually reach; one has revelation of the secret kingdom at the bottom of the sea.
Here one finds, wading through warm ripples, great horse conches, white sand dollars, and myriads of bright-colored cochina clams glistening in the foam. So beautiful is the still hour of the sea’s withdrawal.
Perhaps this is the most important thing for me to take back from beach living: simply the memory that each cycle of the tide is valid; each cycle of a relationship is valid. And my shells? I can sweep them all into my pocket. They are only there to remind me that the sea recedes and returns eternally.”
- taken from Gift From the Sea
By Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Personal Comments - By Bobby Sagra

I just came home from a weekend holiday trip to Reno, Nevada where I attended the 60th Annual Convention & Trade Show of the California Groundwater Association, October 31-November 1, 2008 held at John Ascuaga’s Nugget Hotel. It is raining outside so I just decided to stay home and spend time in solitude. I remember I have still the book I borrowed from the McCloud Library entitled, Selections From Gift From the Sea written by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. After I have made a quick carpentry job on making a book shelf and eating my lunch, I sat and read through it. Over these past days my mind reflected upon what really matters in a relationship. My question got a clear answer above when Anne Morrow Lindbergh said that, “when the heart is flooded with love there is no room in it for fear, for doubt, for hesitation.” This month of November 2008 will be the eleventh month of the marriage between me and my wife Marl. While I was in my hotel room in Nugget I took time to browse over the scene from my window glass. Down below I saw cargo trains, iron tracks and small storage buildings. I continued browsing and my sight turned to the surrounding mountains and its clouds above. A flock of birds pass by or a domestic plane flies over. There is balance, beauty, harmony in life and in the relationship like marriage I am in, only if I am open to widen the horizon of my browsing heart and mind. In the above write up, Anne Morrow Lindbergh spoke of the principle of “Intermittency” as a lesson to learn especially in dealing with relationship in one’s life. What prompted me to confirm this as true is the experience of seeing two rainbows along the highway on our way back from Reno. A colorful rainbow can only be seen in the intermittent flow of rain, sunshine and a water pond or stream. It is for me another complete show of life’s wonderful flow and rhythm of things. A good mix of each cycle of life is needed to complete a good pattern of living. It is only in my own acceptance of life in its true cycle, rhythm, colors, sounds and myriad paradoxes that I can fully embrace whatever life brings in my field of relationship today. Nikki Giovanni said that “love is the greatest adventure.” I say in a very simple and candid way as far as I have experienced it that love is the only clearest explanation for everything that flows into life, into relationships and into the puzzle of its ebb and returning…, its eternal art of sacred permanence amidst the changing of its seasons and cycles.
In addition to Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s idea of Intermittency as a great foundation in understanding the problems of life and relationships I would like to suggest some basic attitudes one can have so as not to be overwhelmed and overturned from the focus and stability of the relationship. The first is that of honesty. I simply need to be honest with who I am, with what I feel and with what I believe in. I can share this with my wife or friend in a very spontaneous way. The second is that of openness to the myriad possibilities and challenges for growth in my life and in my married relationship. Then the third is the willingness to take action to accept my wife for who she is and to the courage to change the way I relate with her in a more positive, loving and healing ways as we continue to share the joy and the love of each new day in our relationship.
As we celebrate our 11th month Anniversary of Marriage I have only one wish and one prayer for my wife Marl, and that is, for her to be truly happy and grateful for the gift of life and of our love together as we spend the rest of our days in the mystery and wonder of life’s beauty and intermittency.

On Gratitude for God's Blessings - By Bobby Sagra

"Another exercise that I practice is to try for a full inventory of my blessings and then for a right acceptance of the many gifts that are mine -- both temporal and spiritual. . . I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know." The above lines were written by Bill W. in his letter dated March 1962 which was published in the book, The Language of the Heart p. 271 c.AAGrapevine
Today, I celebrate with my wife Marilene our 10th month anniversary of marriage. Since we are still physically apart at the moment we simply scheduled an internet chat to be able to spend time with each other. I sent her a loving greeting and a God Tube song by Steven Curtis Chapman, Cinderella and she is sent me a creative web card. I am very grateful for the gift of my wife in my life today and I am very happy to receive her as a beautiful gift from God. In the Rite of Marriage on Nuptial Blessing #3 the following are said, "Holy Father, creator of the universe, maker of man and woman in your own likeness, source of blessing for married life, we humbly pray to you for this woman who today is united with her husband in this sacrament of marriage. May your fullest blessing come upon her and her husband so that they may together rejoice in your gift of married love. Lord, may they both praise you when they are happy and turn to you in their sorrows. May they be glad that you help them in their work and know that you are with them in their need. May they pray to you in the community of the Church, and be your witnesses in the world. May they reach old age in the company of their friends, and come at last to the kingdom of heaven. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen" At the moment it is a quiet Autumn morning here in McCloud, CA USA. I hear the sounds of cars passing by the highway next to the apartment where I am staying. The trees next to my window are starting to sway their branches as being tossed gently by the cold wind. Their leaves are getting yellowish and in time will fall. In my heart, I feel joy and I want to sing a song of thanks to God for creating me and my wife Marilene in His own likeness, now as man and woman in married love and life, according to His greater purpose, glory and honor. For me, this moment is a season of thanksgiving, of faith and of hope in the loving God who provides for our daily needs. What a great gift God has given me in the person of my wife. I respect and honor her as a complete and full transformation of being a woman, a wife, a mother and a soul mate. I thank God for the wonder of her beauty, for the joy of her songs, for the heroism of her sacrifices and for her loyalty and dedication to her work. I thank God for the gift of healing and spiritual progress through the years, for the gifts of good friends and for the gift of family. I thank God for the work I do and for being of maximum service to Him and my fellows. I thank God for the gift of silence in the morning hours, where I can sit, study, pray and meditate. And for many more wonderful blessings in my life today and in the life of my wife, I thank God from the very depths of my heart and soul. Times are tough and the road of life of difficult today with the world economic situation, but it is not a reason not to pause for a while and count our blessings. What is important is not to feel dissatisfied for what we cannot have, but simply be contented and be happy for what we have. After all, in life the best of things come in freely like the serenity of the quiet morning, the smile from a little child, the warmth from a loving dog and the assurance of a lifelong companion in a married life.

48th Birthday Celebration

Early this morning I called up my wife Marilene and she sang a birthday song and some other love songs for me. I went to work and my colleagues including the owner of the company greeted me Happy Birthday. When I came home I spent time viewing the greetings that family and friends sent me. I just finished having a long internet chat with my wife and I am so glad that she is there for me on this special day. Last year I can still recall that I celebrated my birthday in my hometown of Cabatuan, Iloilo, Philippines. I was still wearing a monk's cowl then and I was still in the ministerial priesthood. I celebrated Mass at the church with family, former teachers, classmates, relatives and friends. Then, a party was given at Huesca St. Then a month later I expressed my decision to leave priesthood and get married. The marriage took place in Manila last December 8,2007 and our wedding pictures got published in http://www.cabatuan.com/ Just recently my wife Marilene went home to Cabatuan for the Fiesta celebration last September 10,2008. She was very glad to make that trip and have a break from her busy office schedule in Manila. She stayed in my room in Huesca St. during her stay and she visited and came to know my family, relatives and friends there. As I celebrate my birthday today, I cannot help but pause for a moment and take a good look at my life, this gift of life that God has given me. All I could sum up saying is that God is love. Everything that had happened in my life, since I was born into this world is an expression of the love of God. St. Ignatius of Loyola in the First Week of the Spiritual Exercises highly wrote of the necessity to have this conviction and assurance of being loved by God unconditionally. In my growing up years and adult life I experienced the love of God in all aspects, especially in those very trying moments of powerlessness over areas of unmanageability and lostness of self wherein I found myself stucked in the morass of self pity, guilt, fear and anger. In the cry of Jesus on the cross, " My God, my God, why have you forsakened me? " I have found the meaning and purpose of all my pains and sufferings in life. The blessed Pope John Paul II wrote that in that very moment Jesus was expressing both the human and divine cry of anguish. In the human side, Jesus identified with the very totality of the pains of humanity and cried the same cry and asked the same question, " Why? " His human cry was also my very own at very significant and deep painful situations of my life, which is an experience of hopelessness and wasteland of abandonment. On the other hand, the divine cry for help is a sigh of surrender, of acceptance of pain as the touchstone of spiritual transformation, of the courage to let go and let God and of the willingness to die in order to live. Today as I celebrate my birthday, I am very aware and conscious that as I totally surrender to God in the divine order of things, I have chosen to die to my old self which is tired, exhausted and disgruntled and I have made a conscious and responsible decision to live my new life of freedom from the bondage of self, of victory over my human weaknesses and imperfections and of joy for having found my true vocation in life, to live as an ordinary and simple man, loving and caring for my wife and our family and fostering our spiritual growth together as husband and wife. Today I am spiritually awakened that the best way to celebrate one's gift of life is to go inside my own self and find my reason for living. In the book, Beginning to Pray, Archbishop Anthony Bloom, the author, was interviewed by Timothy Wilson. At one point Timothy Wilson asked him, " Your father sounds to have been an extraordinary man. Can you remember very much about him? " To this question, came his touching and thought provoking reply, " I remember a certain number of his phrases. In fact there are two things he said which impressed me and have stayed with me all my life. One is about life. I remember he said to me after a holiday, ' I worried about you ' and I said, ' Did you think I'd had an accident? ' He said, " That would have meant nothing, even if you had been killed. I thought you had lost your integrity. ' Then on another occasion he said to me, ' Always remember that whether you are alive or dead matters nothing. What matters is what you live for and what you are prepared to die for.' These things were the background of my early education and show the sense of life that I got from him. " Today as I think seriously about my life I can well say that when I got married to Marilene T. Lusaya last year I had my date with destiny in the face of a tired, exhausted and distraught world where men continue to fight and hate each other even in the name of religion, where most political leaders continue to be corrupt and religious institutions continue to lose their grip of being the conscience of the human condition of misery, injustice, sickness and death. Indeed, when I got out of priesthood and got married I simultaneously declared my freedom to seek the God of my own understanding and experience and know that still I am loved, blessed and provided with the grace and strength to move on and discover untapped vistas of my spiritual search for my true meaning and purpose in life. I have found my wife Marilene to be the very reason for me to live my life to the fullest, in joy and serenity with her as we trudge the road of life hand in hand and hearts forged into one towards the stars of our greater destiny as a couple God designed and meant us to be. To end, let me quote a classic Latin verse, " Omnia Vincit Amor " which means " Love conquers all ". I also thought of this today and for me when there is true love and devotion there is no difficulty that cannot be surpassed, there is no conflict that cannot be resolved, there is no dream that cannot be realized, there is no doubt that cannot be relinquished and there is no happiness that cannot be fulfilled. On my birthday today, I have found out and deeply felt that life is a celebration not just on the day of one's birth but that in each moment of each day life in all its wonder, beauty, grandeur, drama and giftedness can be truly relished, tasted and enjoyed together especially in married life.

Spiritual Responsibility in Marriage, Marriage Message 7

"Successful marriage is always a triangle: a man, a woman, and God" (Cecil Myers). Think about it -- is your marriage "successful"? Is God the important leader in your marital relationship? Even if your spouse isn't walking in spiritual obedience, have YOU invited God to be a leader in your relationship, even if He is the silent partner until your spouse spiritually wakes up? Think about it. This week we're focusing on the subject of spiritual responsibility in marriage. I (Steve) will address the husbands and Cindy will address the wives. So first off: HUSBANDS: Spiritually bathe your wives. I've been told many times that a HUGE concern expressed by women is that their husbands are contributing little, if anything, to the spiritual health of their marriage. They say things like, "He's a great husband but he doesn't give me what I need spiritually." There are two things I've come to understand about this subject (through my own struggles in this area): (1) One of the hardest things for husbands to remember when it comes to our bride is to do what Christ showed us by His example: "to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing of the water from the word" (Ephesians 5:26). For some reason many of us husbands neglect doing this. But each day is a new beginning so today could be good day to start. It's better late than never! (2) As we follow Christ's example and lovingly pray for our bride and wash her in the word of God, we strengthen our marital intimacy and bond more than almost anything else we can do for her. To wash our wives in the Word doesn't mean preaching to her. That can make her feel like a child if she doesn't appreciate this. But it's communicating the gospel with and without words. Even if your wife is hostile to your sharing the word of God with her, you can still pray a blessing silently over her and ask God to show you how to bond you closer together. For those of you who do have a wife who would enjoy this spiritual connection, we'd like to share with you some insights that Eddie recently wrote in one of the comment sections of the Marriage Missions web site (at www.marriagemissions.com). He wrote: "Probably the single most important thing that my wife of twenty-eight years and I have learned, is to pray for each other out loud every day. I am supposed to be her covering. I wouldn't want my wife going out into the world unclothed for every man to look at. If I don't cover her each and every day then spiritually, I'm sending her out exposed for the enemy to see. We pray out loud so that we can hear with our ears and get it into our minds that we are loved and cared for. Also, we know that the enemy doesn't know everything like our Father does, so we pray out loud so that he can hear. We do this even when we're angry with each other. It's amazing how hard it is to stay angry with someone when you hear them praying just for you and even harder to stay angry with someone while you're praying God's blessings on them for the day." That's great advice, isn't it? The following are some additional tips that you might find helpful as well in uniting you and your wife closertogether: 1. Find a devotional (maybe on marriage) that you can read together every night before you turn out the lights. A great one we recommend is "Devotions for a Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas. (We give a review of this devotional as well as others on the Marriage Missions web site). 2. Read scripture together. You can do this even a few verses or chapters at a time, and then share insights that come to mind. 3. When God teaches you or you learn something from His Word, be sure to share that with your wife. It may bless and enrich her life as well. 4. Ask your wife how you can be praying for her throughout the day while you're apart. 5. Start the day by praying together (and/or end the day this way -- whichever works out best). This has greatly enriched my marriage with my wife. I believe it will help yours as well. As we take spiritual responsibility in our marriages, we may find that other problem areas will begin to resolve themselves as well. And men: love your wife enough to resist the temptation to chastise your wife if she isn't doing what Cindy will share next. WIVES: You are not your husband's Holy Spirit. Yes, you are his partner and you may need to "speak the truth in love" to him at times. But sometimes we do too much horizontal talking and not enough vertical talking to the Lord over matters that bother us about our husbands. Sometimes our words can get in the way of what God intends to do if they are said when our husband's ears are not receptive to hearing what we have to say. It has taken me a lot of years of anguish to finally listen to the Lord over this matter. I've come to realize that it's not our responsibility as wives, to shame or accuse our husbands of not being spiritual enough (if we perceive they are lacking). We ARE told in the Bible in Galatians 6:1-5, "If someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load." What I see from those scriptures is that we are to be GENTLE if we are to "restore him." But we're also warned to watch ourselves because we could be tempted to do what we shouldn't (like saying more than we should, or saying it in the wrong manner or timing, or pointing out the "speck" in his eye when we have a "log" in our own eye). We should be careful of our own spiritual walk so we aren't hypocritical in our interactions. "Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like" (James 1:22-24). Don't allow the problems you see in your husband to distract you from living Christ. If you feel you have to nag or berate your husband to get him to "wake up" spiritually, beware! You're stepping into Holy Spirit territory. Be your husband's prayer partner and ask the Lord to show you how to love him as "unto the Lord." Know when to say something and when to be quiet. God will lead you as you draw close to Him and ask and receive. We pray that each of you will be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in carrying out your spiritual responsibilities. "If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and power for ever and ever. Amen" (1 Peter 4:11). Blessings,Steve and Cindy Wright P.S. If you think of others who may benefit from these weekly messages, please forward this to them and encourage them to subscribe to this FREE ministry. To subscribe, visit www.christianchallengeandblessing.com

The coming home of my wife Marilene to the Sagra Family

Today, the 7th of September my wife Marilene went to Janiuay, Iloilo, Philippines to visit my mother, Mrs. Lilia Parian Sagra and my brother, Dr. Calixto P. Sagra, MD and another brother, Carmelo P. Sagra and my uncle, Fr. Felipe A. Parian Jr. in our family home. It was a very warm, happy and loving get together as seen in the pictures my wife posted in our Friendster account: Bomarl1208. This is the very first time that my wife visited my family of origin since we were married and we thank God she has done it with grace, beauty and joy! Now we move on and keep waiting for the day when she will be getting her U.S. Visa to come and join me here in McCloud, California, USA.

Prayer of Surrender

Third Step Prayer

God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better doThy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy
will always!

Personal Comment: What can I offer to you today my God? Here I am, I offer you my whole being, my mind, my soul and all that I am. You are God and I am only a human being created and fashioned by You in my mother's sanctuary of love. In my humanness you share with me your Godliness by the gift of breath that you bestowed and makes me alive today. Here I am my God, use me as Thou wilt, for I am only a vessel, an instrument of your Hands and Feet. Sometimes my selfish nature overwhelms me, so I humbly ask you to relieve me of the weight of my selfishness. My desire and joy today is to please you like a wife wanting to please her husband. In my going out of self with your grace I am willing to live this life in radiating only your love and your kindness to others. My only concern is to focus only on doing your will today and always. Amen

A SONG FOR MARL - By Bobby Sagra

I sing this song for you my love
a song which is a deep echo
from the sacred mountain
where the gods sang for ages
this melody of love eternal
which is bequethed to all times
and fitting for all seasons
a gentle soothing song for all
a love song of never ending joy!
Each day a white cloud appears
over Mt. Shasta of California
I paused as I walked by and asked
a mountain sage why this is so.
I am told once in ages past
there was a beautiful lady
most lovely of all ladies here
who fell in love with man
who lives up in Mt. Shasta.
Her parents were against
her going forth to the mountain
to meet with her beloved.
But against their will
because of her great love
for the man of her whole life
for the man of her soul
she went forth one snowy morning
she walked through in the cold
she obeyed only love's stirrings
just to see her beloved one
up hidden over the lovely peak
of Mt. Shasta of California.
Unskilled in snow cruising
she vanished and never was found
like a wisp of cloud she was gone
like a snowflake she settled upon
and disappeared like a dream
among the trees and holy soil
of Mt. Shasta of California.
Few days later down the slope
of the beautiful lovely mountain
of Mt. Shasta of California,
a lake was formed in all wonder
and the people of the town
in lasting memory of the love
born and lived forever in the heart
of their dearly beloved daughter
named the lake, "Shastina"
after her name and pure love.
Until now whenever they see
the hovering soft white cloud
over Mt. Shasta of California
they whisper, "there she is again!"
visiting her beloved one
and vanishing for her repose
in a peaceful lake down below
most lovingly named after her.
What an awesome and intense love!
It's still a song in the wind's echoing,
an eternal everlasting song
the love of the most beautiful Shastina
for the man of all her heart's desire
up in Mt. Shasta of California.
As I come over here my sweet love,
I feel your love in the song
sang over and over again
my poets and singers old and new
A song of love you sing in your heart
for me your most beloved one,
my Marl, my darling, my hun!
May 01, 2008 in Poetry Permalink Comments (0)

THE KEY TO THE HEART - By Bobby Sagra

"The door to the human heart can be opened only from the inside." - taken from Apples of Gold

While browsing over my hotmail account I again passed by the update of the Database for high school reunions. Right there in the category of related interest I again saw the name of my beloved Marilene. It was there that I started posting some e-mails to reconnect with high school friends of the Cabatuan National Comprehensive High School that I met Marl sometime three years ago. We started communicating by e-mails. I was then a Benedictine Monk and I have an office where I am provided with a computer for my use. I became a part of Marl's life and she became a part of mine. In the beginning she will open up private matters of her life, her family and her work asking for some friendly support, especially during those times when she has some difficulties caused by the various pressures of her life. Being adept in matters concerning helping those who are trying to find meaning and direction in their lives, I will write back and give my guidance and encouragement for her. Things progressed from there joyfully for us. We exchange set of pictures, lots of hellos and hi's in a friendly casual manner. Then, one day, while we were having our usual chat conversation I honestly expressed my love for her and she responded gladly with love too. One of the most beautiful moments of that cyber love connection was when Marl sent a cd of her songs with her pictures on my birthday. I was so thrilled and happy to receive such a token of deep and sincere love from her. Then came a period when I decided to refrain from communicating with her to focus more on my life and work as a monk and to listen some more to my feelings of love for her. In the book, Fire in the Belly on the masculine psychology it is written that, "when a man truly loves a woman, he has to say goodbye to her." I did exactly just that and I found out that in that space, in that silence, in that hollow and uncertain moment in time,...that I truly love her and I want her to be a very significant part of my life in this world. To make my presence felt again in Marl's life I sent her a package gift for her birthday which she received just before Valentines Day. From then on, we started communicating again on a regular basis by giving updates and concern for each other. I was scheduled to go to Ghana, Africa last year for a new mission assignment when I heard the news that my mother got sick and I needed to go home to help in taking care of her. I went home last August, 2007 and I called up Marl as soon as I arrived home in Cabatuan, Iloilo. I asked her if she can come home for the town fiesta on September 10,2007 which she did. She said she will go home so we can meet and see each other. I met Marl for the first time ever since we communicated via internet at the new Iloilo Airport last September 8,2007. It was a very beautiful and memorable meeting. We both gave our gifts and there was heartfelt reluctance because I was still wearing my monk's robe. She brought her two year old grandson, Kiel who became our love's cupid during those four days of our tryst in Cabatuan, Iloilo. Marl went back to Manila after the town fiesta to continue her work at UMC Manila. We exchanged text messages every day. On September 30,2007 I went to Manila and joined the birthday party of Isah, Marl's daughter. I brought as my gift and "pasalubong" the famous "Tinuom" dish of chicken cooked in banana leaf from Cabatuan to the delight of everybody in the family including her son, Gabo who is finishing Mass Communication in Perpetual University of Las Pinas City. On October 22,2007 I solemnized the marriage of Jay and Bel Alere in Cavite. During the moment when as a celebrant I asked for prayer in silence for our personal needs, Marl who was there in the crowd whispered a prayer to God to have me as her husband. It is very true that God answers prayers. The very next day I decided to leave the priesthood and monkhood and proposed to marry Marl. In that mysterious yet deeply profound twists and turns of events, God's love and design for my life and that of Marl merged like a beautiful completion of a jigzaw puzzle. We both decided to get married on December 8,2007 in the Dreem Haus restaurant along Taft Avenue, Manila. Our wedding was a joyful and successful testimony of our love for each other. Guests included family members, friends and co-workers and everybody went home stomach filled, contented and mesmerized. I stayed for a while with Marl doing some fixing of the house and accompanying her to work everyday. I was with her and her kids and grandson for Christmas. We both celebrated her birthday at home with her brother Ed Lusaya as our special guest last January 24,2008. We dated on Valentines Day by Manila Bay area. Then I left Manila on February 17,2008 to go back here in the U.S. to continue my work as God's servant and minister in a new community called the University of Mechizedek, an online Ascenscion School and Retreat Center located in Glorieta, New Mexico. I continued my daily contact with Marl through the internet chat medium. Our spiritual group has decided to relocate to Mt. Shasta, California on April 21,2008. I hope to get a better income earning job there and petition Marl to come and join me here. Once again I am into a new adventure of faith and life. This time I am not alone responding to God's greater calling to holiness and love because Marl is one and united with me as my wife. I look forward to reach Mt. Shasta and be worthy to stay in that sacred mountain of God with Marl soon to come. The psalmist in questioning who shall climb the mountain of the Lord wrote the response, "he whose heart is pure..." Lord, my heart is pure and I am ready to go. Watch and care for my beloved hun Marl while I am on my journey to your holy mountain. Bless our love and devotion to each other as husband and wife. You are truly love oh Lord and you have given us the key of love which opened our hearts from the inside. We praise and we thank you for creating us for each other to love, to cherish and to be happy together in this life and in the next. Bless our love and married life as we journey along and serve you and and your people. Amen.

The Brick

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going abit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up." Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me." Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you,"the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy pushed his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!" God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has tothrow a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

He sends you flowers every spring.

He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun without rain,but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light forthe way.

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.


For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity."
In prayer; expect setbacks, but refuse retreat." - Richard Eastman

Do your best, bring out the best in others,Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

To subscribe or unsubscribe visit http://www.christianchallengeandblessing.com

If you lack internet access you can subscribe orunsubscribe by sending a blank email message with"Subscribe" or "Unsubscribe" in the subject area. to: liverite@christianchallengeandblessing.com

Life Is a Gift

Life Is a Gift

Changes

CHANGES

Today I pray that I may understand there are some things I cannot change:
I cannot change the weather.
I cannot change the tick of the clock.
I cannot change the past.
I cannot change another person against their will.
I cannot change what is right and wrong.
I cannot change the fact that a relationship ended.
I can stop worrying over that which I cannot change and enjoy living more! I can place those things into the hands of of the One Who is bigger than I. Save energy. Let go. Instead of trying to change someone else:
I can change my attitude.
I can change my list of priorities.
I can change my bad habits into good ones.
I can move from the place of brokenness into wholeness, into the beautiful person GOD created me to become.

- Taken from an e-mail by a friend

The Privilege of Suffering - James H. Hewett

"The Privilege of Suffering" Joni Eareckson's story is now well known to us both through her books and the movieabout her paralysis as a teenager and her amazing fight back to a useful andproductive life of ministry through her art. From the preface of Joni: Isolated, by itself, what is a minute? Merely a measurement of time. There are sixtyin an hour, 1,440 in a day. At seventeen, I had already ticked off more than 9 millionof them in my life. Yet, in some cosmic plan, this single minute was isolated. Intothese particular sixty seconds was compressed more significance than all the millionsof minutes marking my life prior to this instant. So many actions, sensations, thoughts, and feelings were crowded into that fragment oftime. How can I describe them? How can I begin to catalog them? I recall so clearly the details of those few dozen seconds--seconds destined to changemy life forever. And there was no warning or premonition. What happened on July 30, 1967, was the beginning of an incredible adventure which Ifeel compelled to share because of what I have learned. Oscar Wilde wrote: "In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting whatone wants, and the other is getting it." To rephrase his thought, I suggest there arelikewise only two joys. One is having God answer all your prayers; the other is not receiving the answer to all your prayers. I believe this because I have found that Godknows my needs infinitely better than I know them. And He is utterly dependable, nomatter which direction our circumstances take us. In the Psalms we're told that God does not deal with us according to our sins andiniquities. My accident was not a punishment for my wrongdoing--whether or not Ideserved it. Only God knows why I was paralyzed. Maybe He knew I'd be ultimately happier serving Him. If I were still on my feet, it's hard to say how things might havegone. I probably would have drifted through life--marriage, maybe even divorce--dissatisfied and disillusioned. When I was in high school, I reacted to life selfishlyand never built on any long lasting values. I lived simply for each day and the pleasureI wanted--and almost always at the expense of others. --James S. Hewett, Illustrations Unlimited(Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc, 1988) p. 13.

Personal Comment: There is a good purpose hidden in every painful life experience like the one described above. What is important is that once in a while we pause and learn the lessons of good beneath the sad realities of life and celebrate that God loves us after all just the way we are. - Bobby Sagra, Spiritual Teacher for University of Melchizedek, Glorieta, NM, USA

Daylight Vision

Daylight Vision - Poems, Blog Posts, Reflections by Bobby Sagra - God's Poet from Cabatuan, Iloilo, Philippines

The Miracle of Goldfinches - By Ruth Fischel

It was the second winter after my son, Bob, died.I was still measuring time by his death. First it wasfour days and then five, then it was a month and thentwo. Now, it was hard to believe that more than a yearhad passed.I was definitely getting better. Everything I didand thought during that first winter had somerelationship to Bob's death. In this, the second winter,I was able to broaden my life and return to my workon a somewhat regular basis again. On most days nowI could put in quite a few hours, as compared to thefirst winter after he died, when I could barely workat all.When I say that I didn't work, I mean that I didn'twork on anything that could pay the rent or put foodon the table. I am a writer and I couldn't write anythingthat could be published. But during that first winterdid I write and write and write. I wrote from such adeep place inside of me, so deep that I did not evenknow from where the pain or the words that describedthe pain were coming to me. Words were right there,flying from my finger tips. That writing was undisciplinedand disorganized, more of a purging that was necessaryfor my healing. While I knew much of it could be usedsome day to help people. I knew it had to wait.Being a self-employed author has some advantages.One was that I couldn't be fired from my job. Andsecondly I could take all the time I needed to heal fromthis terrible tragedy. The other side of the coin wasthat I wasn't paid when I didn't produce; and thatmade for a very difficult burden financially.During this second winter I had the gift of workingin a beautiful new office in my home. I installed twobird feeders, one hanging from a high branch outsideFrench doors, which could be seen from everywherebut my desk. The other feeder was plastic and hadsuction cups to keep it stuck to the window just a fewfeet forward and to the right of my computer.During this second winter, I developed a fascinationfor all the birds that came to visit my feeders, but Ifound the goldfinches especially fascinating. I spenthours watching them as they changed their colors overthe seasons. I had never seen anything like thisphenomena before. These observations became likemeditation for me, a deep concentration that blockedout all other thoughts. I would watch in awe, transfixedas these magnificent creatures paraded their shadingsbefore me, showing off one of God's masterpieces.At the end of the Summer, the goldfinches hadbeen a bright yellow, the only way that I had everknown goldfinches. But as Fall came they began toactually change. One day they were yellow andsuddenly, or so it appeared to me, the very next daysome were muddy and gray looking. Others weremuddy and greenish. Some were tan. They were allin the process of losing their bright color andbecoming less and less yellow. They continued to feedall that winter and I looked forward to their everydayvisits, shooing the bluebirds and the crows away fromthe other feeder that hung from the tree. I evenspent $10.95 for a shield so the squirrels couldn'treach the feeder on the tree and eat their food.I have learned that the change in their feathers isnature's way of protecting Goldfinches during the winter.When the leaves fall from the trees all birds lose theirhiding places. Now they had to sit out on bare branches,becoming very visible. If they remained bright yellow,they would be easy prey for larger birds. Their new,muted colors help them to blend in more with thebranches, tree trunks and ground cover.Gradually I became accustomed to the more quietlycolored beautiful creatures in their new winter attire.And just as suddenly as their feathers had changed infall, one day in March, a speck of yellow re-appeared.I hadn't expected it, although, if I had thought aboutit, I would have realized this would eventually happen.But, the yellow was returning in the strangest ofpatterns; some in squares and patches, others blendingand soft as if an artist had taken a paint brush andmade majestically beautiful strokes at random.We can call this miracle genetic memory or aninner computer, Mother Nature or a number ofother scientific terms. But it was nothing less thanan awesome miracle to me! The birds did not haveto do anything to make it happen other than to justbe birds. They merely needed to have enough foodand sleep and warmth, and follow their natural instincts.They simply did their bird thing and the rest followedquite naturally.As I continued to watch their daily visits, thisincredible miracle expanded as they continued theprocess of changing back to brilliant yellow again.During the process, some remained a bit muddylooking, some still more greenish gray or grayishgreen, some with more yellow than others. Theircolor returned in patches, all at different timesand in different places. Each goldfinch receivedthe gift of magnificent new spring clothes in theirown time, and in time for the mating season to begin.And here I was, working again fully into the joy ofmy writing, discovering more and more gifts everydaythat reconnected me to God and to the universe.How could I not possibly believe that if God couldmake these wonderful miracles, the Goldfinches,why not for me, in my shady and murky grayish- greenbrown tan, sometimes even black pain, returning meto the full and brilliant color of the sunshine again?How could I possibly not believe that I, too, couldand would return to the joy of living, in whatever wayor shape God programmed me.How could I possibly not believe that we are allpart of a higher plan, a greater purpose, and thatthis knowledge comes to us when we are ready, witheach passing season.All we have to do was be the best people we can be,get plenty of food and rest, and do God's work. Timeand nature would tell us when we were ready foranything more or less. We simply have to do our peoplething and the rest would follow quite naturally.4/5/95© Ruth Fishelwww.spirithaven.com

Easter Day at World Mother Sanctuary - By Bobby Sagra

It was my first Easter celebration
here in World Mother Sanctuary.
I woke up early to make fire in the chapel
to warm us up for the Easter Morning meditation.
In that quiet and silence of welcoming The Light
of the Risen Christ, our Director of the Sanctuary
Crystal aka Patricia Jepsen uttered a message
she directly received from God.
She said, "I AM IN COMMAND OF THINGS IN CHRIST"
which helped me a lot in my awakening
of this new life that we all have in Christ.
Copper is our Easter icon of new life too!
He went around blessing each one and saying,
"Here I am, see I am alive, strong and full of life!"
Then we ate our Easter Breakfast
of scones which I helped in the making,
scrambled eggs, fresh melons and good coffee.
I said the prayer of blessing in gratitude to God
for the call to community, which is the call to love
each other in Christ and be His I Am for the world.
I washed the dishes after that and hurried back online
to spend quality Easter Time with my beloved wife Marl.
I spent most of my afternoon having my online meeting
having another fellowship of the Spirit with friends
from all over the world in cyberspace of sharing
and caring, helping each other and celebrating life.
In the evening one of us made a good veggie salad
which we ate while watching the politics news from CNN.
After I excused myself from my wife in our usual chat
I got invited to watch the movie Converstions with God
till the evening hours passed and the night is back in peace.
The movie was so touching and I cried in awesome reverence
knowing God is still very much with us and still speaking
to us about the purpose of things in our lives.
Just before I slept I gave update to my wife again
and then went to pray my zen meditation for another half hour
and went to bed and dreamed of beautiful life and vision
of wonderful togetherness and marriage with my wife
in my community of kindred souls in God's lovely world.


http://www.melchizedeklearning.com/

On Easter Morning Now - By Bobby Sagra

On Easter Morning
Someone of our kin
Who pitched His tent
in our world as one of us
and who took away
our sins upon the Cross
and by His wounds
we were all healed,
rose as the Dawn
of life, of victory
and became the beacon
of our new life!
On Easter Morning Now
as we rise from slumber
and with faith,
we face the dawn
of our lives...
The story of Jesus
Risen from the death
can also be
our own story!
The saga of human life
full of ups and downs
in the drama and epic
of tears and joys,
of fullness and emptiness,
of pain and relief,
of victory and defeat,
of wars within and without,
is a never ending story
in each and every fiber
of our being as earthlings.
But this great breakthrough
of Him who is forever Love
and Serenity in the midst
of His earthly life, until
He conquered death,
which epitomizes all
our fears and woes,
is a living Hope
for each one of us
to live Easter Now
and Always...
also making our breakthrough
amidst all our fears and sorrows
and being alive
in the beautiful
awakening...
of our Easter Morning Now!
March 23, 2008 Permalink Comments (0)

The Flame of Christian Love in the Community - Bobby Sagra

My Experience of Community
-An Article Written by Bobby Sagra (Spiritual Name: Benedict Sagra)
for the Newsletter of World Mother Sanctuary

P.O. Box 1060

Mt. Shasta, CA 96067

U.S.A.

In my many years of experience living in community I have come to understand that it is really love that builds community. It was at the Last Supper that Jesus gave the new commandment to his beloved apostles, “love one another as I love you” (John 15:12). Love is the flame coming forth from the hearth when each member of the community loses oneself in sharing individual gifts and talents to fulfill the vision of the community in Christ just like the pieces of wood stacked together to generate flame. My experience of community made me understood and lived the seven qualities of the love of Jesus which a newly born community can live together. The first is that Jesus loves everyone. He has a special kindness, respect, tolerance and acceptance of everybody, especially the poor and the marginalized. The second is that Jesus always made the first step to love. When he first called his disciples along the sea of Galilee, he was the one who said the first word, “Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.” (Mark 1:17) It was a word spoken with great love in his heart for each of them. When I am called to a community, it is a must for me to also hear this first word of Jesus, “I love you and I am calling you to leave behind everything, deny yourself, take up your cross and then come and follow after me…” (cf. Luke 14:27) All I need to do is to say in the words of the prophet Isaiah, “Here I am,…send me!”(Isaiah 6:8) The third quality of the love of Jesus is that He becomes one with those whom He loves. To the children He became a little child. To the teachers of the law He became a teacher like them. To the poor and the sick He showed acceptance, empathy and compassion. Entering a community with love in my heart I am ready to loose my own comfort zone and radically unite my feelings, my ideas and my very own life with those whom God has called me to be with. Yesterday, here in the World Mother Sanctuary I sat and rejoiced with Ann as she shared that she has called her husband Steve and they have a very good conversation. To love in this way means for me “to weep with those who weep and to rejoice with those who rejoice”. Chiara Lubich, the Foundress of the the Focolare Movement, a Catholic spiritual community for Unity wrote once, “Nothing is so small when it is done out of love.” The fourth very interesting aspect of the love of Jesus is that of mutual love. There is a saying, “love begets love” and Jesus precisely keeps on loving despite many obstacles and challenges there are in the art of loving in order to win an atmosphere of love wherever He is. He puts in love where there is no love as He did with the Samaritan woman He met on Jacob’s well one very hot noonday moment of his life’s journey on earth. The love that he gave to that woman became a wellspring of hope for her to begin her new life of discipleship in Christ. The fifth great luster in the way Jesus loves is that He said, “love your enemies…”(Matthew 5:44) Loving one’s enemies is the Christ revolution for all ages. In a world tinged with so much violence and hatred, this very dictum of Christ offers a healing option to bring about peace, harmony and justice for all. Living in a community at times I experienced that I am my most fierce enemy as my selfishness, jealousy and anger test me and block my wholehearted and free capacity to love. So in this case, I pause and I listen and be gentle to regenerate the love of Christ for me so I can love myself as I really am and be able also to love others in their own negativities, idiosyncrasy and uniqueness. The sixth golden quality of the love of Christ is that He loves without measure, expecting nothing in return. His kind of love is selfless and pure. All he wants is the good and joy of those around him. St. Bernard of Clairvaux, who founded the monastic group called the Cistercians, wrote that for him as a follower of Christ, “to love is to love without measure”. In my own life living in many different communities like the Mission Society of the Philippines, the Focolare Movement School of Spirituality in Florence, Italy, with the Benedictine Monks in Pecos, New Mexico, I experienced the personal love of Christ for me through those persons I have lived with as one of unconditional love. I felt accepted, treasured, valued and supported in my own woundedness and giftedness as a child of God. Now as Christ my Lord led my steps to the World Mother Sanctuary the more I experience this being loved by Christ through Crystal, Ann, Betsy and Susan unconditionally, just as I am. In my way of expressing my love for others especially my wife Marl, I also say, “I love you just the way you are!” Finally, the seventh characteristic of the love of Jesus is that in loving He offered Himself up on the cross for all of us. He became true to His very own words, “No greater love man has than to lay down his life for his friends.”(John 15:13) Again in my experience living with a community, this is the very pact of love that I declare, to love with the very standard of the love of Christ, to offer myself and my life for others in the community. It is this very aspect of dying to self, dying to my own worldly attachments, dying to my own concepts and ideas and living only the new life and vision of the whole in my community that validates my true membership in the community. I experienced living in the Zen Buddhist community in Marikina City, Philippines for few months and in the Buddhist understanding of community or “sangha”, a community is a place of refuge. One of the Buddhist chants says, “I seek refuge in the sangha.” As I join the community here in the World Mother Sanctuary, I consider it as my new christian “sangha”, my place of refuge and Mary, our Mother is the one I find solace and comfort as she expressed her presence daily through my companions here. One of the Latin titles of Mary is “refugium peccatorum” or refuge of sinners. I honestly and sincerely identify myself with that spectrum of affiliation to Mary. In the world beset and contaminated my all forms of ungodliness and impurity I seek refuge in the heart of Mary, our Mother here and there I find the love, strength and comfort my soul is longing and thirsting. Here in the World Mother Sanctuary I experienced the cessation of all forms of worry, fear and anxiety for what may come about. All I know and feel is the peace and assurance that now that I belong to a community here, God will supply everything I need in alliance with the mystical parlance of a catholic saint which echoes, “all will be well”. In conclusion as I write this I commit myself to love only according to the very qualities and measure of the love of Christ. I invite Jesus now to come and find a loving welcome in my consciousness so I will be totally transformed in His very own mind, so I can love deeply and humbly in my heart. Yes, there is no other way today for me, love is the only way, that is, to love everyone with the very love of Christ.